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Please critique my ad

 
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boisdevie1



Joined: 11 Aug 2006
Posts: 3897
Location: Lancaster
PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 14 7:15 pm    Post subject: Please critique my ad  Reply with quote    

This year I'm trying to rent out my house. I've got an ad and would be grateful if people would have a look and tell me what works and what doesn't work, both for the ad and the property itself. I know you're all busy people so if you haven't got time no problemo.
Regards
Bois

http://www.rentalsystems.com/advert.aspx?ref=130487&tab=5&rag=68715S&rcam=ownerweb

Treacodactyl
Downsizer Moderator


Joined: 28 Oct 2004
Posts: 25697
Location: Jumping on the bandwagon of opportunism
PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 14 7:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote    

As with selling a house, my main comment would be to tidy a bit more and take some better pictures. Remove the bins and washing from the first one for example, make neater stacks of wood by the woodburner and not have the TV on. Pictures can be tricky but there's advice on the web to get the light better - some pics seem too dark because the camera is struggling with the bright light in part of the photo and making the rest of the room look dark.

Jamanda
Downsizer Moderator


Joined: 22 Oct 2006
Posts: 34918
Location: Devon
PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 14 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote    

Can you put the second photo with the garden as the first picture you see? It looks much nicer than the gas tank and laundry!

vegplot



Joined: 19 Apr 2007
Posts: 21298
Location: Ynys Môn
PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 14 7:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote    

Some more alluring and creative adjectives may make it more attractive (not that it isn't). For instance...

this attractive 19th century farmhouse

for a relaxing holiday in the delightful much loved area of

etc.

Green Rosie



Joined: 13 May 2007
Posts: 10498
Location: Calvados, France
PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 14 7:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote    

Definitely declutter before taking photos. Have a look at our photos here http://www.ownersdirect.co.uk/france/fr7129.htm

Also it is unclear if the bedding price is per bed or for all beds - if for all beds would it be less if just a couple came?

Can you also split up your text on the overview so it would be easier to read?

marigold



Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 12458
Location: West Sussex
PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 14 8:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote    

It looks very nice, but you could improve the presentation.

I suggest you tidy up thoroughly and retake the pictures. Outside pics - mow lawn repair edging, shoot on a sunny day. Indoors - in random order:
Put all 8 chairs neatly round the dining table & make sure you can see the fruit bowl properly.
Make all the beds neatly with new-looking bedlinen. I'd hide the coffee table (the carpet looks much nicer) and shoot more towards the fire than the telly (which should be turned off).
Remove all items of personal hygiene etc from the bathroom. Is that an unattached bathplug on the shelf in the corner? Fix it!
Arrange sofa cushions neatly & close the doors behind it.
Remove clutter from the kitchen (move the table to get it out of shot if possible), replace the crumpled dark tea towel with a light coloured, ironed one, set the clock to ten to two (to make a smiley face) for the photo

Text:
accomodation should be accommodation

"...patio accessed via from ..." via or from, not both.

Lose the sentence about teenagers feeling deprived - I know it's meant to be jokey, but why introduce the possibility of feeling deprived on holiday?

I may despise dishwashers myself, but I think a lot of people would expect a well-equipped kitchen with a big stove to have one.

A blank line between paragraphs would improve readability.

pollyanna



Joined: 03 Nov 2012
Posts: 221

PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 14 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote    

There are quite a lot of redundant words in the text. Keep it simple.

eg. from via - remove from; very large stove - remove very; lots of local ponds - remove lots of; also fish in the sea - remove also.

home-made has a hyphen.

Break up into short paragraphs. Make it a bit more bullet-y.

Remove the car before photographing and choose a better angle.

Tidy the kitchen. Why is there a bowl in the bath? Tidy, tidy, tidy.

Would what you have written grab you in 45 seconds? That may be as long as someone will look at your ad.

I wish I took holidays, I would love to rent your house!

marigold



Joined: 02 Sep 2005
Posts: 12458
Location: West Sussex
PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 14 8:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote    

Facilities section mentions an open fire in the living room - should that be woodburner?

Bedroom section is confusing - is one bed the type that can be double or twin?

pollyanna



Joined: 03 Nov 2012
Posts: 221

PostPosted: Wed Jan 08, 14 8:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote    

Extras. Is the bed linen per bed or all in for the whole week?

Make sure the whole house is completely de-personalised.

Make sure all the chairs are shown round the dining table. One of my family rented a house for eight in the UK and there weren't enough cutlery, glasses and crockery for 8.

boisdevie1



Joined: 11 Aug 2006
Posts: 3897
Location: Lancaster
PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 14 5:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote    

Thanks for all the replies folks. I shall redo the photos this weekend as best I can and I've taken all your other comments onboard. A few comments.
1. No dishwasher - no space for one in the kitchen.
2. Bedding - I'll rejig that bit if there are fewere people at the house.

Again, many thanks.

dpack



Joined: 02 Jul 2005
Posts: 35403
Location: yes
PostPosted: Thu Jan 09, 14 10:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote    

what they said re photos/clutter/wording

would a link to a map be a good idea?

Shan



Joined: 13 Jan 2009
Posts: 8059
Location: South Wales
PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 14 6:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote    

What everyone else said plus, if possible, paint the outside.

Woo



Joined: 19 Sep 2011
Posts: 787
Location: Mayenne, Pays de Loire
PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 14 9:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote    

What everyone else said.
my first thought was the place looks a bit lived in.
it's got to be perfect in the photos so people can see themselves there relaxing instantly, not tidying up after someone else.
only outside shots in the sunshine.
ultra tidy kitchen and bathroom.
just a few pretty logs,(we all know this is not real life but you are selling the dream)

Handmade Lives



Joined: 30 Dec 2011
Posts: 46
Location: London UK
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 14 5:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote    

Lots of good advice. I would add use only white bed linen as then people feel it is fresh and clean for them and change your headline to "Well equipped farmhouse in Calais countryside " or something less geographically specific so that holiday makers understand where it is.

VM



Joined: 23 Nov 2007
Posts: 1745
Location: Lincolnshire
PostPosted: Fri Jan 24, 14 10:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote    

Jamanda wrote:
Can you put the second photo with the garden as the first picture you see? It looks much nicer than the gas tank and laundry!


I thought this as well. The beds in the garden in the second shot are pretty and the house looks more inviting in this one. Or do whatever you can to the front to take a picture that is as nice if you think the main pic needs to be of the front.

Otherwise, the decluttering, photos, light/dark stuff that other people have said.

I have always found, when taking pictures inside a house, that any stuff lying around really jumps out in a photo - so that what would seem charmingly informal if one was round for a visit looks a mess in the picture.

Good luck with it.

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